I believe that is it not so easy, as one would like to, but sometimes it is possible.
Once we have already touched this topic, and after that many of those who had not take part in the discussion but have heard of it came to me with their questions. Some girls asked me if it was true that I had met my husband in the Internet, if I really believed that there can be found a normal man there. So I decided that if women raise such questions I should share my vision on this point with them.
Yes, I have met my beloved man in the Dating site. It is true that there are a lot of idiots)))) in the INTERNET , but to my mind there are not more of them there than in the usual "non-Internet" life. I remember being dissuaded from Dating sites by my friends who had met their husbands in a more traditional and they said that I would not find anyone normal there. And I used to think that if I (being so wonderful) happened to be brought there, so another wonderful person might be brought there as well. After all, each of us does not need a crowd to be happy t, but only one special person. But very often girls, shuffling a deck of 36 cards, do not believe that there may be aces. “Probably, someone has already pulled aces out before us,” they think. But in each deck there are aces, and there are kings and jacks. There are also sixes, and the task of dating on the Internet is to brush away the sixes with calmness and look for those that suit us best by status. Taking into consideration the fact that that I met my husband more than four years ago, and I did not keep any records, it is difficult for me to recall all the details of my experience in numbers. But the fact that before I met HIM, I had been communicating with a lot of men on a dating site, and had a lot of personal dates. Some personal meetings took no more than 15 minutes.
There were men who fell in love with me and offered to continue dating, but they were of no interest to me, and I refused for not to waste my time. There were men who aroused my admiration but they did not like me. And it is normal. Girls, if this happens to you, please remember, this is normal – go on searching. So I had a lot of dates - how much? Exactly more than ten personal meetings, I think, more than twenty, but I do not know how much exactly. And each time, not having met the proper one - I continued searching and meeting.
Therefore, when some women tell me that there are no normal men in the Internet, and they got convinced in it after meeting once, it makes me smile! And another important thing is that - I had always talked a lot before the meeting, through the chats on the site.
Girls, I want to point out once again, this is a very important thing - to communicate a lot before the personal meeting. That is why communication on the site takes a lot of time. It is advisable to understand before meeting what the guy (man) is looking for on the same site. This point is really serious. Do communicate before the meeting! Find out what he is looking for now on this site? And does this coincide with your goals? Maybe he is married and looking for sex for one or two times - there are a lot of men looking for sex adventures, and maybe looking for a permanent lover? Do you need it? If you do, then it is great. And if you don’t need it - don’t waste your time on dates, find out more about his goals of dating before the meeting!
And, in my opinion, it is important for a woman to write detailed information about herself. When you write about yourself, think about the man you want to meet on this site. The prince needs a princess – what can you offer for him to appreciate you? If you are looking for a guy with whom you can go to parties and clubs together, then be sure to write that you like clubbing. If you think that your ability to arrange coziness at home is valuable for your future partner, and you cook tasty food, write about it. Highlight your strengths, but do not exaggerate. If you are looking for a real person, then be real yourself.
I also strongly recommend you to select photos for your profile very carefully, if it’s difficult for you to do it yourself - use your close people’s help. I have a friend of mine, a beautiful slim girl, she posted a photo on a dating site, in which she half-hid herself in the branches of trees - and only her nose is visible! :) In such a photo it is difficult to see her face and figure. Choose a photo that emphasizes your beauty. It would be nice to post four or five photos of yours. It is desirable to select different photos: summer, winter, business, home.
Time! As far as I remember, dating in the Internet took me a LOT of time. Therefore, if you are determined to find your special man there, you will have to devote twenty or thirty minutes a day to it (and maybe more). And if you go to the site once a month for five minutes, you are unlikely to reach the desired result.
Ask a lot of open questions that are difficult to answer simply with “yes” or “no” and which are conveniently answered in full. For example, the question could be: “if you had a vacation in the near future, how would you spend it?”. And different men will respond in different ways, from “lying on the sofa at home” to “going to a ski slope in Austria.” And you will already have to decide what is closer and more interesting to you. But do not judge men only by one answer, ask more questions. Discuss movies that are familiar to both of you. But not just “liked” - “disliked” the film as a whole. That is what specifically was particularly interesting for him in the film? Maybe the film is of mutual interest but you love the moments of romance between the characters in it, and he remembered fights and showdowns.
I hope, before going to a dating site, you will decide on who you want to find there ideally. And then go on asking questions! What character traits are important to you in a man? What kind of activity? Ask questions that will help you to define important and critical sides of man’s character.
BUT do not scare man and do not make an interrogation out of a pleasant conversation. It is a very interesting task to create a pleasant atmosphere and find out everything you want to know, and at the same time tell him about yourself. Well, for example, something like this: “this morning I watched the best National Geographic issues in the Internet archives, I got a lot of pleasure. And what TV programs do you like best?” And here you have already said that you love National Geographic, and created a reason to find out what TV programs he likes. Your dialogue may also relate to friends, and work, and favorite hobbies. And you reveal yourself, and learn more about him. And you can already see how he builds a dialogue, what he likes to talk about. Every day ask him about his mood. If every time everything is bad, it worth thinking about. Although this maybe such a period in his life ( a short-term one), OR all is always bad and he is surrounded by bad people. Here you will have to ask yourself if you need such a whiner in your life.
One can learn to communicate on a dating site. It does not matter if you were not succeeded in communicating nicely with twenty men on a dating site. And you may succeed in communicating with 21-st man. A dating site is not a magic wand, but a good opportunity to meet many of those men who are also looking for relationships! And then this is an interesting task to choose your special one from this set and become special for him.
Good luck then.
Ingrid Jonson| Dating couch
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